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Lucius of the Very Long Tail

Monday, March 28, 2005

Lucius sat on the toilet seat watching me wash my hands. His tail went straight back and off the edge. There couldn't have been more than two inches more tail than I could see attached to his rear, and yet, it went all the way down to the floor and curled around the base of the toilet. I stared a moment before peeping around to find Lazarus sitting on the floor on the other side with his tail curled around the base. Extend-o-tail!

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Bad



I've been an awful kitty all my life!
I cause mayhem and endless strife!
I hide the cat toys one by one,
Then I lie about on my back in the sun!

I want to taste your dinner, smell the outside!
Go out and drag in something that has died!
When there's nothing to destroy, then I am sad!
Look out world, I'm a kitty that's bad!
- to the tune of "Bad" by Kirsty MacColl

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How do I eat this?

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Lucius knows I'm making food because he can smell it, but when I sit down at the table, all he can find in my hand is a pencil, so he sniffs it for all he's worth.

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Fur Smoothie

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

In which I pioneer innovative techniques for maximizing dairy product coverage.

I made a smoothie, got distracted reading the quick start guide for my new access point, and when I looked up, Lucius had his head crammed all the way into my 8" tall glass, greedily slurping it up.

I shouted, he tried to retreat, and the glass stuck. I managed to keep the glass from falling over, but he got smoothie everywhere. All over the table, papers, the nearest cat bed. He dripped it on the floor as I carried him to the sink.

Hours later, he's still a bit sticky.

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Identifying Service Packs

Monday, March 21, 2005

Don't use SQL Server without service packs! We upgraded one node of our sql cluster to a faster computer, and when the network admin went to install SQL Server SP3 on it, it claimed that it didn't need to do anything since it was a part of a cluster. When people started using the site, the CPU on the database shot up to 100% and we started mysterious getting SQL Server internal errors.

We eventually determined that even though Enterprise Manager was claiming that SP3 was installed, it wasn't. This site and this KB article describe how to more accurately figure out service-package.

Today's lessons are 1) don't believe Microsoft and 2) don't use any Microsoft product until they've patched it at least once!

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Thursday, March 17, 2005

Cat nose in my juice
What are you drinking? Clearly
It needs kitty sneeze.

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Stoats in a Bucket

Monday, March 14, 2005

by Tom Jones

If I could save stoats in a bucket,
The first thing that I'd go and do
Would be to save up some stoats in a bucket,
And then I would dump them on you!
- to the tune of "Time a Bottle" by Jim Croce

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Down the Drain

Monday, March 7, 2005

It was warm and breezy today, so I opened all the windows.

The wind blew my medicine cabinet open, so Lucius dutifully got up on the sink and started knocking things out of the medicine cabinet into the sink drain.

The bottle he chose went in head-down, of course, and was such a perfect fit for the drain that I couldn't get forceps around it. It took many goes with a loop of duct tape to retrieve it.

Why you don't have a stopper in your drain, you ask?

The cats take it and hide it.

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